Listening as a daily practice

Listening is a vital skill and an important way we learn. In fact, 85 percent of what we know, we’ve learned by listening.

But listening is something we modern people do not do well. We live in a fast-paced culture, and we’re prone to the quick response, to speech and to action. We have a love/hate relationship with listening.

Perhaps it is because we listen at a much slower pace than we think: we listen at a rate of 125-250 words per minute, but think at a rate of 1,000-3,000 words per minute. The net result is that 75 percent of the time we are not really listening to others – we’re distracted and preoccupied with our own thoughts and formulating what we’ll say next in response.

I’m trying to do more listening in my business life, not rushing past what a client is saying to formulate some brilliant response. This is difficult to do, because my early business training was laser-focused on the fast decision, the quick articulation of the next action step.

But when I slow down and honor what others are saying and feeling, the conversation shifts. It becomes richer. And I see my work as my own kind of ministry in the world – helping to solve a business problem here, being a sounding board for a concern there.

Listening is a practice.

-Mary Lilja